Managing a Conspiracy can get mucho rough, can't it? It's like this massive trust thing just to email somebody for the first time. You don't know whether they're going to send assassins out to track you down and kill you. Bummer, dude.

But you're in luck today! Because you've stumbled upon the fix to your worries of getting nixed. Radical Kourier Service (RadiKS) will remail your email, and there won't be a single little trace back to you. What's more, we'll even route the responses back to you. Cool eh?

Now I know what you're thinking. Why should I trust the RadiKal more than I trust some complete stranger. Well, I've got one basic qualification for this job that you can't count on in anyone else. I just don't care. I don't care if you nuke Canada, or cover the entire western hemisphere in lime-and-pineapple jello. Get this man, I'm a disaffected post-Gen-X drop-out, and you couldn't coax concern out of me with a sledge-hammer. So I'm not gonna go telling people what I could find out if I read your emails, which I can't be bothered to do. Capische?

But you're not going to believe that, even if it's true. You can't afford to. You gotta be paranoid, right? You gotta assume that I'm part of some conspiracy myself. Not that you assume that about the other Free Agents, the ones with Mall property, OH NO, but you'll assume it about me. But I'm not bitter. So, here for your viewing pleasure, the explanation for the paranoid mind. If I start leaking information, not only will my life not be worth the dregs of a Starbucks latte, but additionally, my credibility will be shot. Which means that I get nothing. No more flax, no more patronage, no more nice people worrying about my health and the information-drops that I might have set up (and I'll get around to it, someday... maybe after I wax the cat or something) in case something happens to me. So, only a message of massive personal importance would induce me to take any chances blowing this sweet deal. And since part of the sweet deal is that I don't read them, the odds of me spotting an important message are like zilch anyway. Alright, enough paranoia. Makes my hair itch, man.

Anyhow, you might wonder why it took so long for this service to get going. Well, in order to keep myself secure (you want me to feel secure, don't you?) I had to throw together a lot of mildly complicated coding. Takes a little while. But now we're large and in charge! Here's what's provided in the way of services.

• Anonymous remailing; All they'll know is that it went through RadiKS. Doesn't tell 'em much, eh?
• Information Dead-man Storage: If you die I'll just forward your little hate letter to The Editor, or whoever.
• Anonymous Matchups: If you want to have peace talks with somebody you don't even know, I have a board where you can post your requests, and maybe they'll read it, and I can broker a little communications. Anything in the name of peace, right? Whatever.
• Whatever other devious little tricks I can think up. Maybe you had something to recommend?
• And you can always mail me, if you wanna.

Email me at:
RadiKS Anonymous EMailer